I have been thrown into a season of personal growth…but I didn’t ask for it.
How many times have we encountered or weathered situations of life that “we didn’t ask for” but we have to push through the storm anyway? How many times did you just “not want to go there” but you have no choice?
No one wants to go through a valley. No one wants to suffer loss, shame, embarrassment, loneliness, guilt, turmoil, fear, oppression, depression, confusion, etc. Everyone wants a “happy life” but fail to realize that happiness is what you find in spite of your situations.
I am this person…and I’m hoping to soon say: “I was this person.”
I’ve come to learn a few things in my journey. They have been life-altering revelations for me as I continue to press forward “for the mark of the high calling of Jesus” (Phil 3:14). Foundationally, my MINDSETs need a readjustment. My brain, due to my laziness, began to wire itself in the opposite direction I need it to be if I ever want to reach my goals in life and in God.
A mindset is: 1.) A mental attitude, 2.) A fixed state of mind; But I like what a Pastor I admire and appreciate said about mindsets ” a thinking impregnated with hopelessness that sees an unchangeable pattern in their life”. (Did I get that right, Pastor Dennis?). Pretty much sums it up, right? If the filter I’m using to view my life or situation is wrong, then my actions, words, reactions to things will all be wrong and thus result in the wrong outcome.
This isn’t what I want.
Something needs to change and it’s not my situation; it’s how I handle it. The change in our situations ONLY COMES when we change ourselves inside the situation. We have to change first AND THEN the situation will change.
Doesn’t seem fair, right? I mean, I’m already going through this horrible thing why should I have to change, why can’t it just change?
Because God loves us too much… and every storm comes into your life to break you and then remake you. The ultimate goal for EVERY CHRISTIAN is to be more like Jesus. But that’s a hard standard. It’s easier to blame the circumstance or others. It’s also the first step of a victim mentality and becoming angry and bitter, harboring unforgiveness and/or a hard heart. Definitely NOT the fruits of the spirit we see listed in the Bible.
I have anger/disappointment when my expectation isn’t met. That’s a sign that my mindset needs to change. I also struggle with feelings of unsatisfaction or unhappiness even though I have great things in my life. Again, my mindset is wrong. I’m very prone to thinking about what I “have to” do instead of what I “get to” do – this makes for a very unhappy Daniela. I noticed I can be defensive when confronted, not a good mental state (ever).
Thankfully, I was humbled to a place where I could recognize these things about myself and am truly bothered by them. That’s the first place to start. That’s not a pat on the back for me, it’s heartbreaking actually.
After much prayer and research into changing a mindset, I realized that after admitting my mindsets are wrong I had to recognize the pattern of thinking that was creating the mindset; those negative thoughts that spring up inside as an immediate reaction. For example, you’re looking in the mirror and instead of seeing how clear your skin is, you notice you’re looking a bit bloated. My brain goes right to the negative and disregards the positive. So now I have to “flip my switch” (I stole that from the author of an article I read on the subject). I have to counteract the negative thought with at least two or three positive ones to switch over to the “right” side. In addition, I have to know “why” I’m changing my mindset, otherwise it’s just too hard and I’ll lose motivation. I set up my mini-goals: to be more positive, to be emotionally healthy, to show love the right way to those I love, and to fulfill my calling in Christ. I’ll start there but there’s more to come.
Through all this, I’ve come to terms that I will fail from time to time. I already have plenty of times in these few months. But I have to really see where I am. Failure is the only way to stay humble and true to the actual place you are in your heart and mind. It creates a mile-marker so you can see the issue and then recalibrate to move forward. I need to move forward. My calling is counting on it.
It takes a very unselfish person to pursue a mindset change, and I will admit I can be quite selfish (another thing I hate about me). But being selfish only rewards my bad behavior so I feel justified in it, and that’s no way to be better. I also know I have to be 100% accountable- and that’s the reason for this post. Usually, I am very private about what I go through, but that can lead to pride and I want NONE of that. I’m letting you all know that “I am a sinner and I cannot save myself”. I’m a work in progress and I think there are many more of us. I’ve come to find that reading other people’s stories of healing and growth helps me. I’m hoping to help someone.
The best place to really change a mindset is to ask the Holy Spirit to renew my mind. Only the Holy Spirit can do it but we have to be willing. We have to open the door otherwise God WILL NOT come in. But I’ve asked Him to come in. I need Him to come in; this is my only hope for true change.
My process will take time, but I’m confident that “He that has started a good work in me will be faithful to complete it” (Phil 1:6) It in that scripture means until the coming of the Lord or when I get to heaven. This is (hopefully) going to be my new lifestyle. Cutting down the bad and planting what is good and watering it with the word of God that I HAVE TO speak over my life daily. Otherwise, my life won’t be what I want it to be or what I hope it to be. If I’m not continually changing for Christ, then why do I even believe in Him? What good am I to Him? Do I even love Him?
If I have a pulse I have a purpose. And the purpose isn’t for me it’s for Him. Because of this, I have to keep going. I guess that’s why in James 1:2-4, it says “2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” I want to lack nothing. I should be thankful for my trial, but I’m not there yet.
Hey, I told you I was a work in progress…
Becoming Invincible 