Hey daddy
I was thinking about you the other day – well, I think about you every day – but this day was different. I felt like I needed to talk to you but I remembered that I couldn’t and that’s when it hit me again; you’ll never be here for me to talk to again.
It made me angry and I couldn’t believe how unfair it was.
When someone you love so much dies it creates this hole and nothing on earth takes its place. Death is so final and there’s no turning back from it. It changes everything and everyone around it, leaving a mark that can’t be erased.
I sat on my bed for a while just thinking about how much I hated death and the pain of it. I hated that you were gone and I could do nothing about it. Unfortunately, there was a part of me that wanted to blame God. For a few seconds I was mad at Him because he could have done something to keep you here. But just as soon as I thought those thoughts I remembered that God doesn’t like death any more than I do. Matter-of-fact, He hates it.
Quickly, without searching for it, I remembered the story of Lazarus and how Jesus didn’t get to Him in time before he died. The bible says that when Jesus saw Mary crying ‘He groaned in the Spirit and was troubled’. It’s there in that story that we see where “Jesus wept” (John 11:35). The shortest verse in the Bible, but probably one of the strongest sentiments.
Jesus knew where Lazarus was. Lazarus loved and followed Jesus. He would be in heaven, in a special place of glory and peace; but Jesus wanted him back with Him. Even knowing the glory that Lazarus would be in, knowing that Lazarus would be safe and secure in the arms of God, He called him back to earth. Jesus didn’t like death and He was going to reverse it for His friend. At the sight of Mary, though, he felt her pain. He felt the loss she felt and grieved with her. He cried with her – as I believe he cries with me when I think about you.
The best part is, when Jesus died, he destroyed death. Maybe we still have to endure it on earth, we still have to say goodbye and mourn the loses we face. But for those that believe and accept Jesus, death is only a temporary situation. John 3:16: ” For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life“.
Maybe I can’t raise you from the dead (trust me, I would have if I could) but I can wait until I see you again. I can force myself to be strong enough in my faith that you are not gone forever and I will talk to you again one day.
I guess I figure, if Jesus himself could weep over the death of his friend, it’s not so bad if I still weep over you.
Talk to you soon Daddy…
Love, your Daniela-Bella
Becoming Invincible 